43 Why

It was definitely a better day today. Even though it was raining.

Over the years I’ve read a lot of books about people who went on long-distance hikes and how they fared. And they all describe a dip in their mood after about 4-6 weeks. That’s not so strange after all. The special things you’ve been looking forward to for so long, the adventurous, the new, have changed. Now it’s everyday life. Now it’s just what you do. You get up, pack up and walk until you stop for the day and then you unpack again, eat some meals and repeat. And then again. And on and on. The hike has entered a different zone, so to speak. Honeymoon is over. Now rainy weather is annoying. And even though I was prepared for it, it’s no less difficult at times.

But then it’s good to have various tools in the box to counteract it. For example, I’ve been thinking a lot about why I really wanted to do this long-distance walk. My dream of the North, which I’ve told you about, is mostly the motivation to get this monumental undertaking organised and get going. But what keeps me going? What makes me get up every day and move on?

One of the main reasons I wanted to do this is that I wanted to think. I want to be able to hear my own thoughts, my own voice. The one that is free from the expectations of the world, the one that is free from all the influences around you.

I remember when I was diagnosed with cancer, it took me a long time to feel myself. To be able to find my thoughts under all the advice and expectations. I have to say, I don’t mind good advice. And expectations are often a welcome clue. But, I also find that they make it harder to hear my own voice. It was wonderful when I finally could at some stage during cancer treatment. I want to get to that place again. And that takes time. And by the way, I think very well while I’m walking. When I remind myself of that, it suddenly becomes ok again to find it a bit difficult sometimes.

And I’ve also just reminded myself that I can focus on the many positive things. Meeting people, for example, the fact that I’ve made it a third of the way on my own just by putting one foot in front of the other and that I’ve found a place to stay dry at night every time it rains.

It’s going to be alright. At least today it’s up!